


i can be your lost boy; your everything better plan

by heliotropelied



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heliotropelied/pseuds/heliotropelied
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>liam is out on a roof, louis is freaking out, but all liam wants is for peter pan to find him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i can be your lost boy; your everything better plan

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know what i'm doing anymore. there was this photo of
> 
>  
> 
> [liam on a fucking roof](https://31.media.tumblr.com/2b9cd21b3ac55d3f00e98c9bb9ca0ca6/tumblr_mzaa9uikyV1r5pm10o1_500.jpg)
> 
>  
> 
> and i was fucking terrified for him. and then i thought about how scared louis must have been and then this happened. i only woke up like two hours ago. fuck my life.
> 
> title is from all time low's "somewhere in neverland"
> 
>  
> 
> [im on tumblr!](http://thesecondwarm.tumblr.com)

there's a chill that crawls over liam's skin when he climbs out onto the roof. he rules it down to the january weather and not at all the weird thrill he gets when looks down to see the tiny specks of people and cars thousands of feet below him.

it's zayn's birthday and they've been out celebrating all night. there's been a lot of drinks and so, so much cake and liam is happy and drunk and ready to fly. he knows that he can't actually jump, that would  _hurt_  but doesn't it look like it would be fun?

liam doesn't know how long he's been out on the roof for. long enough that he's sat down on the ledge and his friends across have gone inside. but it's almost sunrise so he thinks he'll stay out a bit longer and watch it. he's sobered up a bit, and suddenly the ever present ache in his heart he can't quite explain is back. 

the night has been so much fun, but he can't help but feel like he's been missing something. really, he's been missing something for a while now. like there's this emptiness inside of him and he can't understand what exactly he needs to fill it.

his phone buzzing in his pocket startles him enough to have him gripping onto the concrete under him and his heart racing.

"'lo?" he answers shakily.

"what the  _fuck,_ liam?" it's louis. and he doesn't sound too happy with liam.

liam finds himself smiling, even when louis is cross with him, he can make liam smile - that's like. that's some sort of superpower. "superman!" he exclaims.

"what?"

liam let's out a frustrated grunt, since when does  _louis_  have trouble understanding him?

"you know! you always make me smile; like superman!"

"oh, is it superman now? i thought you always had the hots for batman?" louis questions.

liam pouts because  _no_. no no no. why doesn't louis  _get it_. "nooooo," he says, "no i  _am_  batman. i can't have the hots for  _myself._ _you're_  superman. what's wrong with you?"

he can hear louis laugh over the line. like tinkling bells. like tinkerbell. louis would look cute in a little green dress. but he's like peterpan or something. so like little green tights? can he be peter  _and_ tink? twink? whatever.

"oh yes, it's definitely what's wrong with  _me_ ," louis says. "i mean it's not like i'm the one sitting on the roof of a building with a 1000 foot drop because i'm some kind of freak of nature adrenaline junkie or anything."

"'m not a freak," liam mutters. he wraps his free hand around himself. it's got a bit colder. he probably should've remembered a coat. it's january. woops.

"of course not," louis says, but liam feels like he's only humouring liam.

which is totally not fair because liam thinks louis is like. really funny. and he never just pretends to think louis's funny. he wishes louis would think he was funny all the time.

and that he was pretty. he thinks louis is very pretty. louis should think that liam is pretty too. it's recip- recipr- reciprocal!  _thanks zayn_. it should be a mutual thing - this thinking that they're pretty thing. 

"d'you think 'm pretty, lou?" liam asks.

and liam expects louis to laugh, but there isn't even a hint of a joke in his voice when he replies, "i think you're fucking gorgeous, liam."

"thanks," liam smiles, "you're really pretty."

there's a beat of silence. liam can see red bleeding into the midnight blue of the sky as the sun begins to peek through.

"hey, li?"

"yeah?"

"what're you doing up on that roof. you know it's not safe," louis sounds really concerned. 

liam giggles, "since when do you care about  _safety_?"

louis sighs, "since you're a thousand feet in the air with literally  _nothing_  but your own instincts keeping you from falling to your  _death_ , liam. what the fuck."

his voice sounds smaller over the phone, but liam still winces. louis doesn't yell at them often - he's usually too busy being told off himself - but it's like  _scary_  when he does.

like his mum's shouting at him or something. but worse because the disappointed look on louis's face is heartbreaking. and louis's been disappointed so much by the people he loves - liam just doesn't want to be one of those people.

"what are you doing up there?" louis asks again.

liam shrugs even though louis can't see. "dunno," he says. "i was trying to find something, i think."

he draws his knees up to his chin and winds his arm around them. the sky is a pretty gradient of blue, purple, pink, red. his heart still aches like he's missing something. maybe that's what he came out here looking for.

"do you remember when it was you on the phone and me drunk out of my mind?" louis asks. "you would get so fucking wound up about it. i think i should apologize for making fun of you. this is fucking terrifying, li. what are you  _doing_  up there?"

"sitting," liam replies. "what are  _you_  doing?"

"pacing my room and biting my nails because my best friend is literally playing with mortality right now," louis snarks.

liam laughs so hard that he almost loses balance. louis's always been really funny.

"not funny, liam," - actually really funny, but whatever,  _louis -_ "what were you looking for?"

"what?"

"you said you went out there looking for something. what were you looking for?"

liam closes his eyes and tries to remember what he was looking for. "peter pan," he answers.

he can almost see louis pinching the bridge of his nose. "you were looking for  _peter pan?_ "

"well. no. i was waiting for peter pan to come looking for me, i guess."

"you're not making any sense here, liam."

"well peter pan comes looking for lost boys, right? like kids stand at their windows and they call out to him and he comes and takes them away and loves them and stuff. so like. im a lost boy. and im waiting for him to come find me."

"oh?"

"yeah, 'm kind of tired of looking for him. he should come looking for me. i'm worth searching for, right?" the stars are beginning to disappear behind the light of the sun.

"of course you are, liam. you're worth searching for."

"then why won't he come find me? why won't you come find me, lou?"

"i'm confused," louis says slowly, "do you want peter to find you, or me, liam?"

"him. you. both. you're- both him and you. but like it's the same. you're him; he's you. peter lou - lou pan - peter pan lou!"

"thought i was superman?"

liam frowns, "you can be both. who says you can't be both? you're superpan!"

'am i now?" liam thinks about louis's amused little eyebrow quirk. he loves louis's eyebrows. they're cute. like little smiles when louis hangs upside down.

"yeah. you're like. you're superman and peter pan and like. you're everything. you're  _everything,_ louis." the last bit comes out as a whisper. like it's a secret that liam's been trying to keep from himself. 

"oh," louis gasps.

and then everything feels a lot more serious than before. liam thinks he's just figured out what he's been missing and the realization hits him with full force. kind of like how louis came into his life - like a fucking category five hurricane tearing apart every part of liam's shell until he was left with nothing but his exposed heart and vulnerability.

he's pretty sure this is what irony is.

"wish you'd come find me," liam says, his voice a little desperate even to his own ears.

silence. liam thinks louis's hung up on him but then -

"if i- if i promise to come find you in the morning, will you go back inside?" louis says.

liam can't be sure but louis's breath sounds shallow - like he's trying really hard just to keep breathing. there's a soft sob that could very well just be static coming through the phone.

"you'll come find me?" he feels small. everything around him is big buildings and vast skies.

"yeah. just get back inside, ok? go to bed, and i promise in the morning, i'll come find you," louis says.

"it's already morning," liam replies. why isn't he here then?

"doesn't matter. you haven't gone to bed yet so it doesn't count as morning," louis assures him.

"that doesn't even make sense."

louis groans, "shut up, liam. go to bed, i'll have found you by the time you wake up, promise."

the next part he says so quietly that liam barely catches it.

"i'll always find you," he whispers.

and liam thinks that's enough. "i love you," he says.

"love you too, liam."

and when liam wakes up hours later, it's four in the afternoon and louis is hovering over him with a glass of water and paracetamol in hand. he sets them down on the side table and climbs into the bed with liam.

his knees are on either side of liam's hips, his arms bracketing liam's head, and his nose only millimeters from liam's own.

"found you," louis says and liam feels like he's trying to press the words into his skin.

found me, liam thinks.

"found us," he says.

 


End file.
